Lavenderdusk



" Oh well. Goodbye to romance. "

---  =Summary= Lavenderdusk is a small domestic cat who resides in the Emerald Meadows with a group of other cats. She is, overall, bounded by guilt, and has had more than her fair share of a romantic tragedy.

=Identification= Name Breakdown:
 * Lavender: Fur and eye coloration

Previous Name[s]: Lavenderkit, Lavenderpaw
 * Dusk: Calm, relaxed, and elegant nature

Biological Gender: Female | She/Her

Date of Birth: April 28

=Appearance=

Physical
Breed: Lots of mixed; lilac point coloration passed down

Height: 8 inches

Weight: 7.7 lbs

Build: Lavender is rather lithe and slender, capable of elegant, fluid motions that carry her. Her body is long, as are her legs and tail, but not so much as to make her lanky.

Coloration: Defining Features: Blemishes: Lavenderdusk acquired one scar under her right eye after her falling out with Antleg. For a quick bit of anger, it's actually rather clean, and almost perfectly underlines part of her cheekbone, going across her face in a smooth motion.
 * Pelt:  a cream base with light grey, bordering on light brown (lilac burmese-esque), points
 * Skin: pale milky grey
 * Eyes: foggy, rainy day blue
 * Despite blue eyes not being too rare anymore, Lavenderdusk's eyes hold an uncommon shade, like one you would see at the beginning of the night.
 * It's rather hard to miss the clean-cut scar on her cheek, a trademark of her guilt and regret. It's also quite hard to hide.
 * Lavenderdusk's facial features and curves are all rather mellow and rounded, a soft undertone of her outwardly relaxed and graceful state.

Accessories: The she-cat thought it only fitting if she wore a lavender garland, the herb being the prefix of her name and all. It's similar to a flower crown, except for the fact that it doesn't go to her forehead, but just her temples. The tips almost wrap around her ears.

Extra
Hamartia: Jealousy and guilt have both proven time and time again that they are her greatest weaknesses.

Disorders/Conditions: Lavenderdusk has collected a burden of conditions after practically being betrayed as well as laying heartbroken and by herself for a few moons. While she was born with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, she developed Atypical Major Depression and Insomnia as a result of the Antleg fiasco.

Scent: The only scent she carries is from her garland, which would be fresh wafts of lavender and rosemary. All other scents she has probably groomed away from her pelt.

Accent: Standard American with vague British hints

Voice Actress: Olivia Newton-John in Grease

=Personality=

Positive Characteristics: Passionate | Loyal | Bubbly | Good Comforter

Neutral Characteristics: Dreamer | Competitive | Indecisive | Unpredictable

Negative Characteristics: Perfectionist | Sensitive | Stubborn | Trust Issues

Summary of Positive Characteristics: Lavenderdusk is completely devoted to whatever she does, no matter what it takes (even if there is some hesitation to fully submerge herself into said activity due to her skepticism). She refrains from anything in the category of betrayal since she, in a way, was betrayed herself. Her experience in the area of heartbreak and falling outs have proven useful, as she is incredibly loyal and has always offered a shoulder to cry on to anyone. The lithe cat seems to have been graced with a relaxed air, which is odd, considering that she is rather bubbly. Lavenderdusk was born an extrovert (a tip of the hat towards her energetic facade), and the humorous aura can sometimes act contagious.

Summary of Neutral Characteristics: While she usually behaves with bubbly, polite, and smooth moves, Lavenderdusk is also rather competitive and can't stand to lose to anything. Her competition drives her, but she can also get upset over her small losses (and big ones), which can sometimes propel her into terrible downs where she is completely convinced that she is worthless and can't do something even if she's trying her best. She comes back after a few days of wallowing in her own terrible thoughts, normal as ever, which can refer to her unpredictable nature. The she-cat can seem polite and modest at one moment, then flirtatious and loud the next, or normal and laughing in one frame, and then breaking down in the time following. She doesn't exactly know what she wants in terms of anything, like her goals or dreams or what she desires in a relationship (if any at all), which nods towards her indecisiveness and loss of a focus point. She often dreams of a world where she isn't heartbroken and everything is normal again, but that is the only solid thing she wants; every other fantasy or dream she makes up in her imagination is to pass the time.

Summary of Negative Characteristics: With or without her OCD, Lavenderdusk is a massive perfectionist, organizing constantly and making sure everything is in ship-shape. She is practically never satisfied due to this obsession. Being the terribly stubborn cat she is, she stops at absolutely nothing to get what she wants, whether it be an organized area or an idea. This underlines her almost bossy, uncooperative attitude when she's annoyed enough. She doesn't trust anyone enough to do anything right, so she usually ends up doing things herself so they're perfect (in her eyes), and she can be annoyed at the slightest of things like someone doing something wrong. It takes a while for Lavenderdusk to truly warm up to someone, but you can tell when she does- she usually becomes more concerned for others and trusts them to do things, and she may even become vulnerable around them. She's afraid of being vulnerable around others again, since she was ditched by a tom moons ago. Her romantic tragedy with him partially influenced her fragility, although she was terribly sensitive even before that.

=Biography= Lavenderdusk lived a fairly normal life as the deputy's daughter, but at a young age fell in love with another cat in her clan, Antleg. Within only a few weeks of meeting each other, they had already confessed and began "dating", but it quickly ran short in a couple of moons. Antleg simply got bored of Lavenderdusk- it hadn't been love at all, on his part- and dropped her, his interest on another she-cat instead. Lavenderdusk practically fell apart and talked to Antleg one last time to ask him why. He went on a short tangent of how nothing was there and how she had grown stale after a while. After a bit of arguing, Antleg gave Lavenderdusk a scratch under her eye, and the two broke up in a terrible manner. Just the next day, she ran away from her birth clan with a certain weight on her shoulders, only bidding goodbye to her trusted brother, Pebblepool. The entire breakup and Antleg's reasoning heavily affected her self-esteem, and she began thinking of herself as stale, bland, and worthless. She developed atypical major depression as well as insomnia while she was by herself for around a moon in the woods. She promised herself repeatedly that she wouldn't let herself fall in love like that again. One and a half moons after the breakup, Lavenderdusk began to travel, and wound up at the Emerald Meadows, where she is now beginning a new start with a few other cats.

=Statistics and Skills= Physical Health: 68% - While Lavenderdusk has no direct physical disorders, her insomnia and depression has heavily affected it. She is, more often than not, quite tired, and she also feels like she's stuck in slow motion. She usually feels no urge to get up in the mornings.

Mental Health: 53% - After the breakup, she has persistently had dark thoughts surrounding her worth and stale personality (according to Antleg). It has swayed her self-esteem and opinion of herself beyond words. Her lack of sleep and depression make everything a bit heavier, as well.

Emotional Health: 49% - Lavenderdusk is still very hurt as a result of the Antleg fiasco, and has already promised to herself that she won't let herself fall in love like that after the entire catastrophe. She doesn't know at the time if she will trust ever again. She also feels extremely betrayed.

Strengths: At her absolute best, Lavenderdusk is quite flexible and swift, being skilled with running as well as stealth. She has her slender build to thank for this. Beside her physical strong points, she is also a good comforter, having been through heartbreak and all the feelings accompanying it herself- she has proven time and time again that she is a good listener and is willing to be an emotional crutch if it means cheering someone up. Humor comes naturally to her, too, so making others laugh is another one of her techniques.

Weaknesses: Lavenderdusk isn't exactly the most strong, aside from the muscles in her hind legs. She lacks power, mostly taking the defensive side in attacks, and isn't very powerful in the area of climbing. Almost more of a weak spot than her physical ones, she is extremely sensitive, and any small event can impact her heavily.

Fighting Style: She usually performs strategic, swift blows, that may slowly fade into confusing nonsense off the top of her head. Overall, it can be described as intense, quick, and involves more flexibility than a normal cat would incorporate into their style. She often switches between offense and defense, but Lavenderdusk tends to stick to the defensive side of fights.

Hobbies: Habits: Dreams: Fears:
 * Stargazing
 * Cloudwatching
 * Taking long walks
 * "Gardening" / tending to plants
 * Bathing in springs
 * Talking to flowers
 * Pacing
 * Grooming herself obsessively
 * OCD tendencies
 * Skipping meals
 * Spacing out
 * To go back in time: Lavenderdusk often looks back on what she's done with regret and guilt, and thinks that if she did something differently, things might be alright again.
 * To be loved: Although she's somewhat afraid of relationships, she still longs for affection and attention. Part of her wants to be loved and love them back, but she's too afraid of being hurt again to convince herself she's ready to put herself out there after all the drama.
 * (Very minor) Sleep: Not that she gets it much, of course, due to her insomnia, but Lavenderdusk has had persistent, terrible nightmares ever since her breakup. It's the same one over and over, but she hates it just the same, and avoids sleep just to slip away from the grasp of it.
 * Relationships: After getting her heart broken, Lavenderdusk promised herself that she would never let herself fall in love again in fear that her heart would be shattered once more.

=Relations= Relation - Name - Gender, Status - Trust Rate - Thoughts on Them

Relatives
Mother - Pikanose - Female, Unknown - 52%

- "I understand your concern, but I didn't need someone watching me at all times to make sure I didn't even get close to a tom."

Father - Slatefall - Male, Unknown - 89%

- "I wish I had gotten to know you better. Unfortunately, I think you were more concerned for the clan than you were for me."

Brother - Pebblepool - Male, Unknown - 99%

- "I'm so sorry. Maybe if I didn't run away, we could still be normal siblings, side by side. I still trust you all the same. I will never forget you."

Companions
to be filled in as roleplay stuff continues

Sexual and Romantic
Mate: None

Ex(es): Antleg - Male, Unknown - 0%

- "You despicable, god damned rat.. You broke my heart and you didn't even care. I'll never forgive you. Never."

Crush: ooh la fucking LA

More in Relationships
Sexuality: Pansexual

Eye Candy (Physical): Unique eyes | Dark browns or grays | Soft features

Eye Candy (Mental): Confident | Trustworthy | Softies | Humorous | Comforting

Turn-offs: Overly proud or extremely cocky cats are a definite turn-off. Not much else is a deal-breaker, but she definitely doesn't prefer anyone who sleeps all day.

Looking For: Experience: Virgin
 * ( x ) Long term relationship
 * ( x ) Short term relationship
 * ( x ) Open relationship
 * ( x ) Quick fling
 * ( ✔ ) Unsure

Foes
Ex-mate - Antleg - Male, Unknown - 0%

- "You just had to love someone else.. I fell for you. Hard. I hope your new toy realizes that you're not worthy of anyone's love."

=Taste=

Likes

 * Soft moss
 * Stargazing
 * Cloudwatching
 * Cuddling
 * Cool breezes
 * Kits

Dislikes

 * Mosquitoes
 * Ants
 * Generally all bugs
 * Sticky things
 * Bitter herbs
 * Thinking about home

edit this bc it looks so fucking dramatic abt her seemingly insignificant breakup and i regret even making her backstory anything like how it is